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GRAMMAR GURU


Most of our life is spent in conversation with various people,for several reasons.The way we talk says something about our personality.Those who have mastered the art of conversation have proven to be successful in life.Mastering conversational skills include being able to handle unexpected twists in conversation.Heres an example,between a judge and the accused,in a courtroom: Judge: Where did you work Accused: Here and there.Judge: What do you do for a living Accused: This and that.Judge : (to the policeman) Take him to jail.Accused: Wait! When will I come out Judge: Sooner or later.All of us have been victimised by conversational bores,who enjoy long monologues and never allow us much in the way of a verbal contribution.Here are some ways of making your point.When you want to interrupt someone,you usually indicate this by leaning forward,making a movement or taking a deep breath.You could also say,umm or well and then leave a pause,to see whether the other person is going to stop or not.Suppose you want to interrupt and disagree with a person,you could start with "Yes,but"or "I know,but.."Now,suppose you have not been involved in the conversation at all but want to say something very important,you say,"Sorry to interrupt,but.."
A good conversationalist must be a good listener too.Don't be a silent listener,as that might send wrong signals.Show that you are,in fact,listening,by looking at the speaker,nodding your head and using words like yes,yeah,right,mm.., uh... huh,etc....
"You know that old vase,mum,you said was handed down from generation to generation"
"Yes."
"Well,this generation has dropped it."
There are times when you are not able to think of an immediate response but you want to give yourself more time to think.Do avoid silences in such cases.It could be most embarrassing.You could use fillers like um..., er,uh.or well... Or you could begin with a preamble like "I mean"
A man asked a boy how old he was."Twelve,"was the reply."Hmm , remarked the man,"you are well built for your age.""I ought to be,"retorted the boy,"My father is an architect."
Quite often we tend to switch off or fail to hear something properly'.In such cases,it is necessary to ask the speaker to repeat what was said.Polite ways of accomplishing this are,"Sorry ,Pardon","Could you please repeat that"or "I didn't quite catch that. In serious conversations,it is necessary to ensure your listener understands you and that you understand him/her.There is no harm in ensuring that.Some ways you could do that are:
Do you know what I mean
I mean
An accused man tells the court,"I pleads guilty and waives the hearing."The judge says,"What do you mean,you waive the hearing "He replies,"T don't want to hear no more about it."
As we go through life,if we are alert enough,we pick up the do's and don'ts of good conversation.Otherwise,there is the danger of us stagnating and turning into real bores.

source:http://lite.epaper.timesofindia.com/getpage.aspx?articles=yes&pageid=28&max=true&articleid=Ar02800§id=12edid=&edlabel=TOICH&mydateHid=15-02-2010&pubname=Times+of+India+-+Chennai+-+Education+Times&title=GRAMMAR+GURU&edname=&publabel=TOI